Who’s Counting

It may have taken all that time, or maybe it’s just beginning. 7 years if you add them up. Maybe more. I say less. Realizations pour in, with a flooding, with a weakness. An urgency and patience that’s all the same. To realize it’s impossible to be everything to everyone if you’re nothing to yourself.

And in time it seems so clear that things left behind. Forgotten. Cut off. Never had to be. That coexistence would have… could have been, reality – had I just the courage. Had intimidation, infatuation, held a weaker grasp.

Inner strength breeds stature. Foundation built upon relationship when all else was crumbling. Or was it the catalyst? But the grin says, “it all makes sense now”. Or glimpses say the least.

So in searching, back I go. To the place I lost it all. Where in gaining anew, so much was shattered. In fulfilling, emptiness calls and is replaced again by awakening.

Destruction and growth, emerging from a broken timepiece. I see in pictures, photographs. Snippets of conversation. I replay movie reels that are my own reality. If possession of no one else.

Discovering what matters more than that leads right back to the beginning.

Advertisement